Red Maine’s blue-collared bad boy, North Underwood, has a dirty little secret—Will Tanner.
Friends since kindergarten, North had been the one to jump first, and his fall into Will’s bed ten years ago had been no exception. Will and North had been inseparable, but things change, people grow apart, and even a blazing flame can dwindle to a dying ember over time.
The more things change the more they stay the same.
After a run in with a bottle of Bundy rum, Will and North find themselves in a compromising and all too familiar position.
Blurred lines, bad decisions, and one wrong foot after another lead these two down a spiral of sarcasm, secrets, and sex, but when North’s hetero status is called into question he can’t figure up from down. And despite Will telling himself he wouldn’t fall again, he’s head over heels and wandering without a compass.
Love is love.
Love is truth.
Love … shouldn’t be this damn hard to figure out.
Amanda's Review:
Every time I read a Carmen Jenner book I feel as if I have been tossed to the bottom of a well, with a rope twined by her words, my only way out. The rope is let down giving me hope that once climbed everything will be ok, then out of nowhere it is set upon fire or twisted or swung back and forth, and all these feelings, fear, frustration and despair rise in the darkness around me. But that rope it is still always there, surviving the flames and jagged edges, it is the characters and their journey pulling me free to that tiny circle of light, that will eventually grow to be so much bigger and brighter then anything else. In short Carmen's books have depth, the characters guide you, though not without having to make it past obstacles which leave you feeling connected to them.
Finding North was yet another fall down, that after the climb left me in love with two stubborn, determined and strong, beautiful men. Too stubborn to let go; even if it meant staying apart, Determined to find a way after too many years apart, strong enough to find the courage to make it work after so many hurdles, beautiful inside and out. It was a journey of discovery, of letting go and trying to grab hold of a love like no other they'd ever know, Will and North are meant for each other, unfortunately love isn't always easy, especially when you're from a town full of bigoted A- holes.
In Red Maine, if you're a man, you work, you drink and you love women, any mention of the word gay and hatred flares; by almost everyone in the small costal town homosexuality is not accepted. So when North discovers his best friends secret and gives into feelings of his own, he fears what the repercussions might be for a love that in a town like Red Maine, will stir up hatred and violence. They can't leave town, but If they stay and continue their relationship then both of them will be in danger, so North does the only thing he feels he can do and pushes Will Tanner away. For years he does as his father expects, works hard, drinks at the local like every other bloke from the mill and sleeps with every available woman in town, but none of this makes him happy, not like Will did. So one night when it all becomes too much he gives in to every feeling he tried so hard to push away, rekindling a relationship with the man who's heart he broke so many years ago, hoping that the rest of the town won't find out.
My heart ached for both of these characters, they didn't deserve to be tormented or to be looked down upon, they did nothing wrong, all they did was fall in love. Yet their lives were tainted by something ugly, by the small minded opinions of other characters who are too stupid to realise who someone chooses to love is none of their darn beeswax. It does not stop the world from turning, unless you are one of the two people in love and everything just seems to freeze and then speed up again at the most exhilarating pace, it is simply the deepest of bonds between two adults, something no one else should have the right to judge. Love is love.
And how could North not fall for Will Tanner, they laughed together, hurt for each other, shared everything together. North thought he had found his place in the world, he knew what his future was, until Will Tanner showed him more. All Will had wanted was to love, to not have to hide the relationship with the most important person in his life. Yet for that he was an outcast, judged by weaker men, with the ugliest of minds. The actions and words of those men made me so angry, that I was crying, because it is hard to believe that such disgusting behaviour could exist and that others would turn a blind eye to it. Unfortunately it does and in more than just fiction, with this story Carmen Jenner was able to evoke the reality of that and my emotions at times were overwhelming.
Though for all there was that made me feel anger, disgust and sadness, this was still a love story and the moments that Will and North shared, where the world was their own and no one else's, it was beautiful. The energy between them was always so charged, like a fuse waiting to be lit and when it was, it was all fireworks. An explosion of light, colour and sound so intoxicating it was impossible not to be caught up in the moment. Their feelings towards each other overshadowed all of the darkness, it was more than everything else, it was love.
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